Theyre Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? Its crowded & dirty and full of Italians. Youre crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?""Were taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!""TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "Thats a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and theyre always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?""Well be at the downtown International Marriott.""That dump! Thats the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and theyre overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?""Were going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.""Thats rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. Hell look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. Youre more...

Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they dont catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As theyre driving home theyre really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realise that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"The other guy says, "Wow! Then its a good thing we didnt catch any more!"

Theyre perfectly matched. Hes blinded by love and her looks are out of sight!

What do cows do when theyre introduced? They give each other a milk shake!

The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that its wonderful that youre doing such a good thing."The little girl says, "Thank you, Mr. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? Theyre Democrats."Bill declines and jogs onward. The next day Billy jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think Ill take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how theyre Democrats."The girl says, "Im sorry Mr. Clinton, but theyre not Democrats any more. Theyre Republican now."Bill says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?"She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."