Thump Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
Milk and quackers.
What does an envelope say when you lick it?
Nothing, it just shuts up.
What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll?
Bait.
What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?"
A centipede with a wooden leg.
What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"?
A watch dog.
What is a reptile's favorite movie?
The Lizard of Oz.
What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?
Decomposing.
What kind of reptile tells time?
A clock-odile.
What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
Chocolate chimp cookies.
What magazine do cats like to read?
Good Mousekeeping.
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.
What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.
What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait.
What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?" A centipede with a wooden leg.
What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog.
What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz.
What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.
What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile.
What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies.
What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up.What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait.What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?"A centipede with a wooden leg.What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog.What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz.What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile.What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies.What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping.What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers. What does an envelope say when you lick it? Nothing, it just shuts up. What does Michael Jackson call his "Tickle-me Elmo" doll? Bait. What goes "99 thump 99 thump 99 thump...?" A centipede with a wooden leg. What goes "Tick tock, woof woof"? A watch dog. What is a reptile's favorite movie? The Lizard of Oz. What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing. What kind of reptile tells time? A clock-odile. What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk? Chocolate chimp cookies. What magazine do cats like to read? Good Mousekeeping. What's happening when you hear "woof... splat... meow... splat?" It's raining cats and dogs.

A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he saw walking
down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the

road, he swerved to hit him and there would be a loud "THUMP". Then he

would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the truck driver was driving along the road he saw a priest

hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled the truck over.

"Where are you going, Father?" The truck driver asked.

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road", replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck". The happy

priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down

the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road.

Instinctively he swerved to hit him. At the last moment he remembered there

was a priest more...