Tilt Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main hallway and went to talk with the administrators. The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doctor piled several pillows on the left side of the old an so he would stay upright. The old man started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. The old man started to lean forward.
Then a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, the son returned, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place?"
The old man replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
An old man had a doctor's appointment and was very hard of hearing so he took his wife with him to help. When they got into the examining room, the Doctor told the old man to take off his shirt.
The old man turned to the wife and shouted, "What did he say?" and the wife got closer in his ear and yelled, "Take your shirt off!" The old man nodded and took his shirt off.
The Doctor then asked the old man to tilt his head back so that he could have a better look down his throat.
The old man shouted, "What?" and the the wife got closer to his ear and yelled, "Tilt your head back and open your mouth." The old man nodded and tilted his head back.
When this was all over, the Doctor said, "OK, now all I need is a urine sample, a stool sample and a semen sample.
The old man yelled, "What?" and the wife got closer to his ear and yelled, "The Doctor wants your underpants!"
Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa's father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you."
The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of Santa's father so he would stay upright. Santa's father started to tilt slowly to the right. An orderly noticed and put several more pillows on his right side to keep him upright. Santa's father started to lean forward when a nurse came by and piled several pillows in front of him. About this time, Santa returned. Santa, "Well, Dad, isn't this a nice place."
Santa's father replied, "I guess it's ok, but they won't let me fart."
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.
The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.
Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me fart."