Timmy Jokes / Recent Jokes

There once was a boy named Timmy who had a dog named Bo. Timmy always took Bo with him every where he went and they always played together. One day, Mother called for Timmy but he did not answer. She went outside to find him and discovered that he and Bo were really outside playing together.
Morale of the story: Watch your kids and their dead beat fathers!!

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.

"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.

Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.

"Yes, Timmy, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout Master.

Timmy replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."

"Why's that Timmy?"

"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."

"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master.

"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of more...

After the Sunday church service, little Timmy told his parents that he needed to go and talk to the minister right away. Seeing that he appeared troubled about something, they agreed and led him to where the minister was standing outside the door of the church.
"Father," said little Timmy, "I heard you mention that our bodies came from dust."
"That's correct, Timmy," answered the minister.
"Then I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."
"I see you were listening Timmy. Yes, that's right. Why do you ask?" the minister said.
"Boy, you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, 'cause someone's either coming or going!" Timmy replied.

Two friends, Tony and Timmy, did not memorize the poems they needed to learn for their class. Due to this, their teacher scolded them. When they got home that night, they got to work memorizing the poems. Timmy memorized his poem well, but Tony did not like the subject of his poem and became frustrated. He goes to his mom who is working in the kitchen. "Mom, do you know any poems?"
"Just shut up!" she snaps at him. Tony writes, "Just shut up" on a piece of paper. He then goes to his dad who is busy working in his home office. "Dad, do you know any poems?"
"Just throw that in the dustbin," his dad mutters. Tony writes, "Just throw that in the dustbin," on the paper. He goes to his older brother who is watching his favorite movie, "Superman" on the television. "Michael, do you know any poems?"
"Superman!" he shouts angrily at his brother. Tony writes, "Superman" on the piece more...

Seven year old Timmy had been the center of his parents' lives up until the time his new baby sister came along. He found it very difficult to share their attention and was becoming more and more jealous.
When his little sister was a year old, his parents took him aside and told him that since she was getting bigger, their house was too small, so they would be moving to a bigger house.
"Why bother," Timmy grumbled, "She's crawling good now, so she'll probably just follow us."

One day a little boy walks into his class. He is 5 minutes late. His teacher says,
"Timmy, where have you been?" He replies, "On Blueberry Hill", and goes to his seat. The next day he comes to class 10 minutes late. His teacher says, "Timmy, where have you been?" He says, "on Blueberry Hill", and goes to his seat. The next day a new girl walked into Timmy's class. The teacher says, "Can you please tell everybody your name?" The little girl says, "Blueberry Hill".

an old married couple couldnt have kids but they had this puppy called little timmy. they treated little timmy as if he was there son. they worked hard all there life and used there life savings to go on a cruise around the world and take timmy with them. during the cruise timmy jumps over board.the couple are completely distraught over timmys death.they come home after 2 weeks and to there surprise what do you think is sitting on there doorstep?... nope not timmy...six pints of milk.they forgot to cancel there milk order from the milkman for the 2 weeks.