Tired Jokes / Recent Jokes
Ever wonder why office staff are dead tired by the end of the day and companies require no further physical fitness programs for their employees???
REASONS BEING...
Everyone gets enough exercise:
* Jumping........... to conclusion
* Beating. .......... around the bush
* Running........... to the boss
* Going. ............ around the circles
* Dragging.......... their feet
* Passing. ......... the buck
* Climbing. ........ the ladder
* Wading. .......... through paperwork
* Pulling. ........... strings
* Throwing. ........ their weight around
* Stretching. ...... the truth
* Bending. ......... the rules, and
* Pushing. ......... their luck too.... far
No wonder they are all tired at the end of a working day!!!
There are three girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, stranded on an island 20 miles away from the nearest land. The brunette decided to try to swim to shore.
She got 5 miles and got tired, but she kept going. She got 5 miles more but then she drowned. The redhead was stronger, so she decided to try. She got about 10 miles, and got tired, but she also kept going and drowned.
The blonde was the strongest of the three, and decided to try. She got 15 miles, when she got tired. She kept going until she was one mile from land. She decided that she was too tired, so she turned around and went back.
A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive. She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would change her life. While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her first good deed. After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer, "your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could I have one."The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay."637", said the blonde. The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact number, but lived up to his bargain."I'll take that feisty one over there", said the blonde. Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?
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Why am I always tired?
For a couple years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting there surfing the Internet!
Three men were stranded on an uninhabited island. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles to the next island, which was inhabited.
Herolal was so determined to get home that he tried to swim. He made it 50 miles, got tired, and drowned.
Then Pyarelal tried. He made it 75 miles, but got tired and drowned, too.
Bhola thought he could make it all the way, so he started swimming. He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he swam all the way back to the island.
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home." In a classified ad: "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it." In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center" On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church." Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques." In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?" In a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."