Titanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

And Remember:
Noah's Ark was built by an amateur;
the Titanic, by professionals.

TEACHER:- TUM BATA SAKTE HO TITANIC KAISE DUBA? STUDENT:- DUBUK, DUBUK BUDUK BUDUK BUDUK BUDUK GULUM GULU GULU GULU PUCHIK! BUD BUD. AUR DUB GAYA.

Rabbi is sitting on a airplane next to a Korean guy. After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the Rabbi leans over and says: You know, I've never forgiven you Chinese for what you did in Pearl Habor.
The Korean looks shocked an replies: First, it was the Japanese that bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Chinese and besides I'm Korean.
The Rabbi says: Korean, Japanese, Chinese, what's the difference.
A few hours later the Korean says to the Rabbi: You know, I've never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic.
The Rabbi looks confused and mad and says: What are you talking about?
The Jews didn't have anything to do with that! An Iceberg sank the Titanic!
The Korean guy replies: Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, what's the difference ?

1. What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
2. What is the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
3. How are a sorority girl and a bowling ball alike?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in
the gutter and they always come back for more.
4. What is the difference between sorority girls and hookers?
Sorority girls cost less per score.
5. What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
6. What's the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Walks home.
7. What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
8. How can you tell if a sorority girl has more...

An airplane takes off from the airport. The Captain is Jewish and the First Officer is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and it's obvious, by the silence, that they don't get along. After thirty minutes, the Jewish Captain mutters: "I don't like Chinese." The First Officer replies: "Oooooh, no like Chinese? Why dat?" "Your people bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese." "Nooooo, noooo, Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese." "Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese... it doesn't matter, you're all alike." Another thirty minutes of silence. Finally, the First Officer says: "No like Jew." "Why not? Why don't you like Jews?" "Jews sink Titanic." "The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg." "Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg, Spielberg; no mattah. .. all da same." Sent by Renata

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
What's the new game they're playing in the White House?
Swallow the Leader.
What does Monica Lewinsky have on her Resume?
"Sat on the Presidential Staff"
In a survey of American women, when asked, "Would you sleep with President Clinton", 86% replied, "Not again"
What's the new press name for the latest Presidential scandal?
Hornigate.
Most people get AIDS from sex;
But President Clinton gets sex from aides.
President Clinton: "I didn't say to lie in the deposition!
I said lie in that position!"
The price of oil has skyrocketed; rumor has it that the President is drilling in the White House again.
The latest on Zippergate President Clinton's name has been recently identified with the UNABANGER.
Did you hear that they renamed one of the offices in the White House as the Oral more...

Clinton, Jefferson, and Lincoln were on the Titanic with their wives. When it started sinking, Clinton grabbed the other two men and they all got onto a life boat.

Jefferson says to them, "Should wait for the women?"

Lincoln replies, "Ah, screw em!"

Clinton then says, "Do you think we'll have time?"