Tito Jokes

Top Ten Things Overheard at the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley Wedding
10. Family to the left, plastic surgeons to the right.
9. She could've used a little more of his eye-liner.
8. I bet they didn't have to get married.
7. I'll have to ask you to check your snake at the door, La Toya.
6. I'm sorry, I can't find a Brooke Shields on the guest list, ma'am.
5. There's that strange whirring sound again - as if some deceased rock star were spinning in his grave.
4. I got you some his and hers towels. Split 'em up however you like.
3. I'm Mr. Tito Jackson. You mean Dr. Tito Jackson? Yes I am.
2. Ahhh! The ghost of Elvis is eating all the cake - oh, it's just Liz Taylor.
1. I just heard on the weather channel - hell froze over.

From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 1994
10. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.
9. "Amplifiers" are just enormous dixie cups.
8. Every song contains a plug for Green Giant frozen vegetables.
7. You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as Bob Dylan.
6. One word: polkas.
5. Guy sitting next to you brought a glove and has caught three foul balls.
4. "Santana" turns out to be a jolly bearded guy with a sackful of presents.
3. They're playing "May we turn the hose on you, please?" [All night Dave sprayed the crowd which gathers outside for each night's show with a hose.]
2. You spot Rush Limbaugh stage-diving.
1. The crowd is chanting, "Tito! Tito! Tito!"

From "Late Show with David Letterman" on Tuesday, August 9, 199410. It's hosted by Ed McMahon.9. "Amplifiers" are just enormous dixie cups.8. Every song contains a plug for Green Giant frozen vegetables.7. You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as Bob Dylan.6. One word: polkas.5. Guy sitting next to you brought a glove and has caught three foul balls.4. "Santana" turns out to be a jolly bearded guy with a sackful of presents.3. They're playing "May we turn the hose on you, please?" [All night Dave sprayed the crowd which gathers outside for each night's show with a hose.]2. You spot Rush Limbaugh stage-diving.1. The crowd is chanting, "Tito! Tito! Tito!"

MMA Fighter Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson are the proud parents of twin boys. Fortunately Jameson has plenty of experience dealing with two boys at once.

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Tito!
Tito who?
Titotaler!