Toes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Beware of the toes you step on today. They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.

Upon a mandate from Congress that it was entirely too top-heavy with brass, The Pentagon posted an early retirement bonus. Any general to retire immediately would be guaranteed his full annual benefits-plus $300, 000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on his body that the general chose.

The first general to accept instructed the pension man to measure from the top of his bald spot to the tips of his toes: 6 feet. He walked out with a check for $21. 6 million.

The second general dictated a measurement from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes: 8 feet, 2 inches. His check came to $29. 4 million.

Meantime, the first general had tipped off the third. When asked where to measure, without hesitation the third general told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." The pension man told the general his order would be followed, saluted-and deferred to the medical officer for the more...

A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma'am. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."
Well, she didn't know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane.
He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name's Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah'm from Dallas, Texas. Ah'm 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah'm white from th' top of mah head to th' tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish."
The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d'ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O'Donnell. I'm from Dublin, Ireland. I'm 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I'm white from the top o' me head to the tip o' me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."

Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored.
"What happened to you feet?" his wife asked.
"I had a childhood disease called tolio."
"Don't you mean polio?"
"No, tolio, it only affects the toes."
He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees.
"What happened to your knees?" she asked.
"Well, I also had kneesles."
"Don't you mean measles?"
"No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."
When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said...
"Don't tell me, you also had smallcox!"

Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored."What happened to you feet?" his wife asked."I had a childhood disease called tolio.""Don't you mean polio?""No, tolio, it only affects the toes."He then removed his pants and revealed an awful looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked."Well, I also had kneesles.""Don't you mean measles?""No, kneesles, it only affects the knees."When he removed his shorts his wife gasped and said..."Don't tell me, you also had smallcox!"

A couple were indulged in sexual intercourse and the man noticed that with each movement of his pelvis, his partner's toes would rise.
Later that night, while going at it pretty hot and heavy in the shower, her toes remained still. Confused, he asked, "Why is it that when we do it in bed, your toes go up, but when we do it in the shower, they don't?"
"Silly," she replied, "I take my pantyhose off in the shower!"

One day at a softball camp Deserray W. told me a joke . Ajoke about Cat O. that she had six toes on one foot Des said that cat showed her.I did not belived her .At yhe saramony i saw Cat wearing sandles and she had 10 toes together.WIERD