Toes Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Texan went up to the airline check-in counter and boomed, "Howdy, ma`am. My name`s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah`m from Dallas, Texas. Ah`m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah`m white from th` top of mah head to th` tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." Well, she didn`t know what else to do, so she took his ticket and showed him onto the plane. He sat down in his seat, and turned to the fellow next to him, "Howdy, suh. My name`s Brown, spelled B-R-O-W-N. Ah`m from Dallas, Texas. Ah`m 6-foot 3-inches tall. Ah`m white from th` top of mah head to th` tip of mah toes, and I hate the Irish." The little fellow turned to him, "Well now, how d`ye do. My name is Patrick Michael O`Donnell. I`m from Dublin, Ireland. I`m 5-foot 6- inches tall, and I`m white from the top o` me head to the tip o` me toes, except for my rectum, which is brown. Spelled B-R-O-W-N."

This couple have just met in a bar, really hit it off and gone back to her place to have wild, passionate sex. After they have finished he lies back with a smug look on his face, "I guess that was just about the best sex you have ever had," he says. "What makes you say that?" asks the woman. "Well, every time we did it, I couldn't help notice how it made your toes curl," he explains. "Oh," says the woman, "that was just because most men wait to take off my pantyhose first."

Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks. They hit it off pretty well and soon Bert suggested they go to his apartment for some extracurricular activity.

Well it wasn't long before they found themselves in bed making passionate love. As they were making love though, Bert noticed that Flo's toes would curl up as he was thrusting in and out.

When they were done, Bert laid back on the bed and said, "I must of been pretty good tonight. I noticed your toes curling up when I was going in and out."

Flo looked at him and smiled. "That usually happens when you forget to remove my pantyhose!"

The toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

A baby Camel goes up to its mother and says "Why do we have long eyelashes," and the mother reply"To stop sand getting in our eyes."
A few moments later the baby camel comes up to his mother and askes" why do we have long toes" and the mother replys" To stop us from sinking in the sand."
A few moments later the baby camel walke up to his anyoed mother and say"Why do we have these humps on our back" and the mother replys to store water in them."
"So we have eyelashed to stop sand from getting in our eyes, long toes to stop us sinking in the sand and humps to store water in, but mum, why are we in London zoo?

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1, 000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72, 000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96, 000.
The third one was a non officer grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “from the tip of my weenie to my testicles. ”
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old more...

What do you call a blonde touching her toes? A brunette with bad breath