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For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better."

Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, "Just put' You are not getting older' at the top and' You are just getting better' at the bottom."

It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:

"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP,
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."

Dear Sister, This letter was started by a woman in the hope of bringing relief to other tired and discontented females. Unlike other chain letters, this one does not cost anything. Just send a copy to 5 of your friends who are equally tired and discontented, then bundle up your husband/boyfriend. Send him to the woman whose name appears at the top of the list and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your name comes to the top of the list you will receive 16, 877 men and one of them is bound to be a hell of a lot better than the one you already have. Do not break the chain. One woman broke the chain and got her own bastard back. At this writing a friend of mine has already received 184 men. They buried her yesterday, but it took 3 undertakers 36 hours to wipe the smile off her face and 3 days to get her legs together to close the coffin. Have faith! Liberated woman...

You get on with your partner.
There is anxious anticipation as you start.
You start slowly, climbing your way to the top.
There are smiles exchanged, and giggles, maybe even hand holding.
The excitement builds and builds.
It nears the top.
The expressions on the faces become wonderous and excited.
Then as it hits the pinacle, things move very fast.
There/'s a quick motion, the heart races with complete excitement, faces are all in total pleasure.
Arms are flailing, heads are bouncing, and there is some noticeable screeming going on.
The rest of the ride is up and down., twisting and turning, lots of bumping, sometimes in the light, sometimes in the dark. Sometimes there is a surprise and sometimes it becomes all too familiar but always, always at the end, there is a big smile on the face. Hair is all messed up, and everyone is talking about how great it is, while some of them will say,? " I wanna go again"

Subject: Top 12 things you don't want to hear from tech support

12.' Do you have a sledgehammer or brick handy?'

11.' ... that's right, not even MacGyver could fix it.'

10.' So -- what are you wearing?'

9.' Bummer Duuuuuuuude'

8.' Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n.'

7.' Press 1 for Support, Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes, Press 3 if you're with the FTC'

6.' We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.'

5.' I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.'

4.' In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.'

3.' Hold on a second....... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!'

2.' Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics.' and the number 1 thing you don't want to hear from tech support...

1.' Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney.'

For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older,
You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said,
"Just put' You are not getting older' at the top,
and' You are just getting better' at the bottom."
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:
"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP,
YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."

There was an exhibitionist who was taking a trip on an airplane. At the top of the stairs there was a stewardess collecting tickets. When the man got to the top of the stairs, he opened his coat andexposed himself. The stewardess said, "I'm sorry sir. You have toshow your ticket here, not your stub."

Top ten ways the Internet could get worse10. Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line. 9. "MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment, declare internet lawyers Canter & Siegel. 8. Home shopping "network". 7. Netrek corporate sponsorships. Out: Orion, Pollux, Klingus. In: Planet Bud, Toyota Prime, Intelworld. 6. Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums. 5. Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team". 4. Free netcom account with purchase of big mac. 3. Gameboy web browsers. 2. Tipper Gore cancelbot unleashed onto the net. AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THE INTERNET CAN GET WORSE: 1. Two words: "Microsoft Network"