Toughest Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender. "We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right. The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon." The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner. "I don't replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."
Three tough city mice are sitting in a bar having a drink.
The first mouse takes a shot of tequila, slams the glass on the bar and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk around the house collecting mouse poison. Then I return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee - just for an extra jolt to start off each day."
The second mouse gulps his scotch down, throws the glass on the floor and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air. Then I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet, toss it to the ground and take the cheese for my breakfast. This is all part of my normal morning routine."
The third mouse, bored with the conversation, looks at the other two mice, sets his glass of beer down and says, "I've had enough of you two. I'm going home to more...
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.
Q: What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life? A: Grade six.
There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a shot of tequilla, slams the glass on the table and says, “I’m the toughest mouse in this city. I’m so tough that I walk throughout the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my morning coffee - just for an extra jolt to start off each day. ”
The mice look at each other. The second mouse slams his whiskey – throws his glass on the floor and says, “I’m the toughest mouse in this city. I’m so tough that I go up to the trap outside my nest, I trip the lever and make the trap flip in the air, I catch the bar on its way down, bench press it a few times, twirl it over and over with my feet - then I toss it to the floor, and take the cheese for breakfast. It’s all part of my morning routine. ”
The third mouse looks at the other two. Bored with the conversation, he sets down his glass of beer and says… “I’ve had enough of you two. I’m going to go more...
Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions. Son: Father, Can I ask you a question? Father: Ok ask. Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor. Father:! !!??????!!!