Tracey Jokes

Jack was summoned by the Disciplinarian where his son, Tracey was enrolled. Tracey always throw stones at his playmates and he never missed.
Jack replied to the Disciplinarian: Sir, please look at the bright side. My son will grow up to be a very effective baseball pitcher.

On the first day Margo packed all her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, Margo sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each an every room and deposited few half-eaten anchovies dipped in caviar down the curtain rods.
When Margo's husband Ralph returned with his new girlfriend Tracey, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive more...

The neighbour dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

"What's wrong Tracey? " she asked.

Tracey told her that she had "morning sickness". Surprised the neighbour said, "I didn't even know you were pregnant."

"I'm not." the harried young woman replied. "I'm just damn sick of mornings."

GARNER THOMSON
The ARGUS Foreign Service (April 1994)
LONDON - Two journalist lovers knew they had a scoop when the Duke and Duchess of York sat down to have dinner at the next table. But tabloid demands being what they are, both knew the story was worthless without a photograph. Nic North sprinted to the home of his girlfriend's mother to borrow a camera.
Tracey Kandohla stayed at the restaurant. A breathless Nic returned with the camera and snapped a picture. The Yorks were annoyed, but, in spite of arguing with the couple, failed to get them to surrender the film.
It was only when they had left the restaurant that Nic and Tracey hit a snag. They worked for rival newspapers - Nic for the Daily Mirror, Tracey for The Sun - and they knew that neither paper would be interested if the photograph wasn't an exclusive.
Nic insisted it was his picture - he had fetched the camera and grabbed the shot. Tracey pointed out that it was her mother's camera and film. But Nic more...