Traits Jokes

Easy code system to communicate with other cat owners and with the animal clinic.
Sex:
XFemale, spayed, no interest.
X+Female, spayed, but still interested.
X++Female, intact, but not particularly excitable.
X+++I am a kitten factory.
YMale, neutered, no interest.
Y+Male, neutered, but still interested.
Y++Male, intact, but not particularly excitable.
Y+++I would go through a burning building to get at a female in heat.
Size ("largeness"):
L-I fit easily into your shirt pocket.
L-I can curl up in two cupped hands.
L-I'm somewhere between kitten-sized and average.
LI'm average cat size, just right for your lap.
L+I'm starting to slip off the side of your lap.
L++I'm large enough to make a German Shepherd think twice.
L+++People sometimes mistake me for a mountain lion.
Weight:
W-I'm so thin that you can count my bones.
W-I'm slim, but healthy.
WI'm an average cat, not too thin and not too more...

The old man had passed away. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher spoke at length of the deceased's good traits, what an honest man he had been, what a loving and devoted husband and kind father he was.
Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that's your pa."

Astrology tells us about people and their future by their time, date and location of birth. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of a person's birth. Demographics tell us what others like, dislike, whom they voted for, as well as what they buy and what they watch on television. The Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by an individual's job title, people can pretty much learn about an employee's hidden personality traits.
MARKETING:
You are ambitious, yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES:
Laziest of all the Corporate Signs, often referred to as a "marketer without a degree". You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid all contact with customers so you can "concentrate on the big more...

A brief profile of men afflicted with "yellow fever" ORIGINS: Asiaphiles are typically found residing in major U. S. cities, although increasing numbers have been venturing overseas in their quest to "get an oree-enul woman". NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH: Intelligent, non-racist and socially-functional men who are free of fetishes and racial bias. CHARACTER TRAITS: - Poorly developed masculine identities, pathetically uncomfortable with themselves, inept at romance with women of their own race. - Resentment of white females' assertive, strong-willed personality traits (whether real or perceived). - Ignorant and narrow-minded, eager to adopt fallacious western media stereotypes of Asian women. - Desperate need to assume a dominant, father-like role in their relationships with women (ergo the similarity to pedophiles). - Exaggerated perception and objectification of Asian females (and sometimes little boys). - Uncanny ability to determine one's breast size and country of more...