Trap Jokes / Recent Jokes
Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips the ball onto the green. Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green. The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But, just before it falls into the water, a fish jumps up and grabs the ball in its mouth.As the fish is falling back down into the water, an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws. The eagle flies over the green where a lightning bolt shoots from the sky and barely misses it. Startled, the eagle drops the fish. When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of its mouth and rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling more...
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a group of cars that were all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got caught and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation and was about to walk awy when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"Ever go fishing?" the policeman asked the man.
"Ummm, yeah...," the driver replied.
The officer grinned and said, "Ever catch all the fish?"
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.
The third guy gets up and sort of randomly whacks the ball. It heads out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounces off a truck and hits a nearby tree. From there, it bounces onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolls down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the aforementioned pond.
On the way to the pond, it hits a little stone and bounces out over the water and onto a lily pad where it rested more...
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes -- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!"
The woman said, "That would be okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, women will flock to him like bees to honey."
The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me. So, "KAZAM" -- she's the most beautiful woman in the more...
A man teed off from the seventh hole of his favorite golf course and wound up in a sand trap.
He went to retrieve his ball and found a leprechaun in the sand trap. "Well, you've found me, laddy," said the leprechaun. "I'll grant you one wish - either a year of great golf or a year of great sex."
Without hesitation the man responded, "A year of great golf."
And he enjoyed a whole year of professional grade golf. After the year ended, though, he went back to his terrible scores of before.
Again on his favorite course, he again wound up in the same sand trap and again found the same
leprechaun. The leprechaun promised to grant him one wish - with exactly the same choice as before, great golf or great sex.
Without any hesitation the man asked for "A year of great golf."
The leprechaun was astounded. "Laddie, you look like a red-blooded man. I don't understand why more...
Moses, Jesus, and some old man were playing golf, par three, with the green on the other side of a water trap. Moses goes first. Chips it up and it lands ten feet in from the green. He curses as the ball sinks to the bottom. Walking up to the water hole, he spreads his arms wide, the water parts, and he hits the ball onto the green. Moses then steps up onto the green, and the water returns downward.
Jesus is next. He chips the ball up and it lands on the green, but rolls into the water. He doesn't curse, but he thinks it! He walks up to the water hole and carefully begins to walk on the water until he reaches his ball, reaches in and throws it onto the green.
Finally it was the old man's turn. He chips it up and it lands right in the middle of water trap. Just as the ball begins to sink, a frog swims over and eats it. Then a fish swims over and eats the frog. It swims to the top of the hole and a hawk dives out of the sky and picks up he fish in its talons.
As the hawk more...