Trees Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
Q: What do blacks and Christmas trees have in common?
A: They both have colored balls.
Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman" A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.
How are Christmas trees and Priests alike? Their balls are only for decoration.
One beautiful morning an atheist was walking through the forest,
admiring nature's beauties. He looked up and saw the trees swaying in
the wind high above him, and he smiled. He saw the river glittering in
the sun, and it made him warm inside. He thought to himself that
mother nature had made a truly wonderful world.
The atheist walked a little farther down the path he had taken when
suddenly a bear jumped out of the bushes only a few yards ahead of
him. The bear looked hungry, it started growling and running towards
him.
Seeing the big bear bounding towards him he screamed in horror and
started running as fast as he could away from the bear. Knowing that
the bear would catch him and he had no chance, the atheist soon ran
out of breath and finally fell to the ground.
As the bear's shadow fell upon his face and his paws came down upon
his chest, the atheist screamed, "Oh help me god!"
Suddenly the trees that he so more...
My friend Steve, the priest, told me this one:
Q: Why are Christmas trees and priests alike?
A: Because they both have balls and are only used for decoration.
Why do dinosaurs climb trees? Theres nothing else to climb in the jungle.