Triumph Jokes / Recent Jokes

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.
If quitters never win, and winners never cheat, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Jury: 12 people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over more...

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, `Aren`t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?` The other replied, `Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.`
My wife`s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, `You know, I was a fool when I married you.` The husband replied, `Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn`t notice.`
`I never know how much of what I say is true.` Bette Midler
A man inserted an `ad` in the classifieds: `Wife wanted`. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: `You can have mine.`
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
The only thing worse than a man you can`t control is a man you can.& Margo Kaufman
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
There is no reciprocity. Men more...

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.