Triumph Jokes / Recent Jokes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.- David BissonetteA man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.- Zsa Zsa GaborI'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.- Zsa Zsa GaborWhen a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.- Sacha GuitryMarriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.- MontaigneAfter marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.- Hemant JoshiA successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.- Lana TurnerMarriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.- Mae West"I was married by a judge...I should have asked for a jury."- George BurnsUnknown Author QuotesMarriage is a three more...

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?” But the initials really stand
for “What would Jesus drive?”One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because “the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the
Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast.” Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's
gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord.”Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage
declaring, “the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills.”Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a more...

Marriage has driven more than one man to sex. Marriage is a ceremony that turns your dreamboat into a barge. Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Marriage is a rest period between romances. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Marriage is a trip between Niagra Falls and Reno. Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Marriage is better when both the husband and wife decide that what they have is better than what they are missing. Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. Marriage is mind over matter; if the husband doesn't mind, it doesn't matter.. Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. Marriage is the high sea more...

Most people assume WWJD is for? What would Jesus do?? But the initials really standfor? What would Jesus drive??One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because? the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.?But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges theLord to? pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.?Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses` followers are warned not to go up a mountain? until the Ram`s horn sounds a long blast.?Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn`t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John`sgospel where Christ tells the crowd,? For I did not speak of my own Accord.?Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passagedeclaring,? the roar of Moses` Triumph is heard in the hills.?Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:? Joshua`s Triumph washeard more...

Marriage Humor Marriage Humor: --------------- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. - Jim Backus I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry Marriage is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important. - Lisa Hoffman She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one. - Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe- Jackie Mason Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside more...

Don’t let the beaten dog see the stick, blind him with pepper spray first. Every new song can be sung to an old tune, although it could lead to major copyright lawsuits. No amount of political freedom will ever satisfy the hungry masses. Only McDonalds can do that. And ye shall know the truth, and the truth will set ye free, not including the 8% sales tax, that is. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent. If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Never argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able tell the difference! If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there! Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.