Troi Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has
encountered several times before.
The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists, who
are all perfectly all right.
The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise,
where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed
to be exactly as it seems.
The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later
turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for
which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.
An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to
the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to
bring the right leads.
A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a
faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent more...

Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems... Geordi: more...

Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So, Data, please, how far? How far?
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
LaForge:
But, sir, the engines are offline!
Picard:
Offline! But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
Riker:
Not me.
Worf:
Not me.
Picard:
Computer, how long til we die?
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, more...

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation... By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We'll have two days til we arrive But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't, We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't, The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be? Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take? We could, I think, quite safely make Extinguishers from tractor beams And stop the fire, more...

Top 10 Reasons Star Trek Is Better Than Star Wars 10. Deanna Troi discarded the bun after one season. Princess Leia still has those donut braids. 9. Worf's speech is at least intelligible, but Harrison Ford has to translate for Chewbacca. 8. Star Trek villains do NOT have asthma. 7. Star Wars spawned "Battlestar Galactica." The worst Star Trek ever did was "Babylon Five." 6. Spock--' nuff said. 5. Star Trek-- the first space shuttle. Star Wars-- a hare-brained nuclear defense system. 4. Kirk met "God" and told him off; Sisko met Q and decked him flat; Luke Skywalker met Yoda and was speechless. 3. Star Wars androids look like electronic trash cans on wheels. Star Trek androids look like some people's ideal in masculine beauty. 2. Star Wars: Princess Leia. Star Trek: Lt. Uhura, Nurse Chapel, Yeo. Rand, Lt. Saavik, Cmr. Troi, Dr. Crusher, Lt. Yar, Ens. Ro, Dr. Pulaski, Nurse Ogawa, Amb. K'ehleyr, Amb. Lwaxana Troi, Maj. Kira, Lt. Dax, Kai Winn, Lursa, more...