Trombone Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn? A: Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste. Q: How do you make a french horn sound like a trombone? A: Take your hand out of the bell and miss all of the notes. Q: What's the definition of a gentleman? A: Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't. Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet? A: A trombone will bend before it breaks. Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this? A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig. Orchestral trombonists count so much rest and play so many repeated figures that the sheep story also works. Trombone: a slide whistle with delusions of granduer.

Q: What is the difference between a trombone and a trumpet?
A: A trombone will bend before it breaks.

Q: How do you get two piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.

Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe..

Q: What do you call an oboist who is deaf?
A: Principal.

Q: How many English horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but he gyrates so much he'll fall off the ladder.

Q: What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do a clarinet and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

Q: What's the definition of a nerd?
A: Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.

Q: What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower.

Q: If you were lost in the woods, who more...

Musician Jokes - In Score Order
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
What's the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants?
Nothing. Both give you a warm feeling but no one else cares.
What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on the trampoline.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
Why do clarinetists leave their cases on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped zones.
What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, more...

How do you know when a trombone player is at your door? The doorbell drags.

What is the diffference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road? The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.

BARITONE/EUPHONIUM: This is a weapon of mass confusion. Euphonium players are the Rodney Dangerfields of the brass world. Young players especially don't know their place in the band. They double French horns, trombones, saxophones, tubas in octaves, bass clarinets, bassoons... yadda, yadda, yadda! Euphonium orchestral parts are played by the second trombone or worse, the tuba player! For this reason most euphonium......... baritone...(WHATEVER!) players resort to doubling on trombone. This is when they become dangerous.