Trooper Jokes / Recent Jokes

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here. I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied: "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks! him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks! him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road more...

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man drivingthat he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone."I was only going 40!" the driver protested."Not according to my radar," the trooper said."Yes, I was!" the man shouted back."No you werent!" the trooper said. With that, the mans wife leaned toward the window and said, Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband whenhes been drinking."

A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants.

After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn't know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies."The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse."The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?""Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that.""That's a good more...

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,' I wish that mother more...

An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper.

"You were speeding," the cop said. "I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Yep," the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.

"These flies sure are terrible," the trooper complained.

"Yep," the farmer said. "Them are circle flies."

"What's a circle fly?"

"Them flies that circle a horse's tail," answered the farmer. "Them are circle flies."

"You wouldn't be calling me a horse's rear, would you?" the trooper angrily asked.

"Nope, I didn't," the farmer replied. "But you just can't fool them flies."