Trooper Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Without much of a choice, the chauffeur climbed in the back of the limo and the Pope took the wheel.
After gleefully accelerating to about 90 mph, the Pope was pulled over by the State Patrol. The trooper came to his window, took a look inside, and said, "Just a moment, please. I need to call in." The trooper called in and asked for the chief. He told the chief, "I`ve got a REALLY important person pulled over and
I need to know what to do." The chief replied, "Who is it? A senator?" The trooper said, "No, even more important."
The chief asked, "It`s the Governor, isn`t it?"
"No. More important."
"The President?"
"No. More important."
"Well, Who the heck is it?!," screams the more...

Seven Degrees Of Blonde
ONE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Thewife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"
The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
TWO
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." the second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
THREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. more...

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.
The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"
The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. "I was only going 40!" the driver protested. "Not according to my radar," the trooper said. "Yes, I was!" the man shouted back. "No you weren't!" the trooper said. With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said,' Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."

Rushing to work, I was driving too fast and as a result was pulled over by the highway patrol.
The state trooper noticed that my shirt had the name of a local high school on it. "I teach math there," I explained.
The trooper smiled, and said, "Okay, here's a problem. A teacher is speeding down the highway at 16 m.p.h over the limit. At $12 for every m.p.h over the limit, plus $40 costs, plus the rise in her insurance, what's her total cost?
I replied, "Taking the total, subtracting the low salary I receive, multiplying by the number of kids who hate math, then adding to that the fact that none of us would be anywhere without teachers, I'd say zero."
He handed me back my license. "Math was never my favorite subject," he addmitted. "Please slow down."

A state trooper stopped at a little cafe for coffee. As he was getting ready to leave a patron of the cafe yelled out, "Go out and get' em!" he said. "I suppose everyone's going to get a ticket today?"
"I don't really give out many tickets," the cop said. "Oh, come on," the man teased. "You'd give your own mother a ticket."
"No, my mother never drove a car," said the trooper. Then a grin spread over his face. "But I did catch her jaywalking once," he said, "and I issued her a warning. But that's all."

Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia (USA), a young
state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested
a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his
job, determined there was insufficient evidence and
refused to issue the warrant.
The trooper arrested the magistrate for "obstruction
of justice."
Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly
determined what had happened, and refused to lock up the
magistrate.
The best part was the state patrol post's leader's
response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was
just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the
trooper, and it won't happen again."