Trooper Jokes / Recent Jokes

It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn’t walk a straight line any more than he could drive one, so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his attention to more important matters.
The inebriated driver, figuring that the trooper wasn’t coming back to him, drove home and went to bed. he was awakened in the morning by a knock at the door, created by two more state troopers.
“Are you Mr. Johnson? ” the asked? He admitted that he was.
“Were you pulled over at Main Street last night for driving under the influence? ” Again, the man admitted that was he.
“And what did you do then, ” the troopers asked. ” The man replied that he drove his car home and went to bed.
“Where is your car now? ” the troopers enquired. The man answered that it was in the garage.
“May more...

Ma and Pa are driving down the interstate and they get pulled over by a trooper. He walkes to the door and says "I pulled you over for driving to slow" Ma says WHAT DID HE SAY PA? He said were driving to slow ma. Let me see your liscence sir. What did he say pa? Ma he wants to see my drivers liscence! Pa gave it to him and the trooper says "hell I had a girlfriend from the same town your from, Worst head job I ever had" What did he say pa? Ma he says he THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!!!

The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast, USA, and was taking a limousine to the airport.
Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds onto Highway 95, and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the State Patrol in his mirror.

He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it was, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and asks how he should handle it.

"It's not Ted Kennedy again is it?" replies the chief.
"No Sir!" replied the trooper, "This guy's more important."

"Is more...

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"The sarge replied, "Hes in Georgia now. Theyre an hour ahead of us, so well never catch him."

A state trooper spied a car puttering along at 22 MPH. So he turned on his lights and pulled the driver over. Approaching the car, he noticed that five old guys were inside, and they looked wide-eyed and terribly pale.

The driver pleaded with him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but driving slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous."

"I beg to differ, Officer, I was doing the speed limit exactly: twenty-two miles an hour!" the old man said.

The trooper, chuckling, explained to him that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the man grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.

"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These guys seem awfully shaken."

"Oh, more...

After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn`t know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that`s what they are. I`ve never heard of circle flies."The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They`re called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse."The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse`s behind?""Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that.""That`s a good more...

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving.
Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."