Tuba Jokes / Recent Jokes
An orchestra is rehearsing a piece in which the tuba has a solo after 84 bars rest. At the point where the tuba should start the solo, nothing happens. So, the conductor stops and asks the tuba player why he didn't play. "I have 84 bars rest," says the tubist.
To which the conductor replies, "But we are past those 84 bars already".
The tubist: "How should I know that?".
The conductor replies, "You can count, can't you?".
The tubist: "Do you call that rest?"
10. It's better than playing bagpipes.
9. When you play, people listen.
8. During rehearsal you get to sit in the back of the room.
7. During marching practice you can use the bell to block out the sun.
6. People hold doors open for you.
5. You don't have to wear those silly hats.
4. Many girls do prefer guys with large instruments.
3. You can say "Here comes Niagra..." right before emptying your tuning slide.
2. You'll never be blamed for being the one with the squeaky reed.
1. BECAUSE I PLAY TUBA!!!!
Q: How many Tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two to drink the keg of beer, and one to hold the bulb while the room spins!
Q: What is the range of a tuba?
A: Twenty yards if you`ve got a good arm.
Q: What`s a tuba for?
A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.
Q: There are two tuba players sitting in a car. Who`s driving?
A: The policeman
Tuba Player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
Q: How many tuba players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: one to hold the bulb and two to drink until the room spins.
Q: How do you fix a broken tuba?
A: With a "tuba glue."
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Tuba!
Tuba who?
Tuba toothpaste! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Tuba!
Tuba who?
Tuba glue!