Tunnel Jokes / Recent Jokes

...Authorities have uncovered a massive underground drug smuggling tunnel snaking through the US-Mexico border. Law enforcement officers marveled at its sophistication. The elaborate tunnel had framed sidewalls, electricity, and its own Starbucks.

If the slightest probability for an unpleasant event to happen exists, the event will take place, preferably during a demonstration.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If there isn`t a law, there will be.

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 it will.

If there is light at the end of the tunnel... order more tunnel.

If things were left to chance, they would be better.

If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.

If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great education!

If you aim for the stars but only make it to the moon, remember there are people who have not yet made it to the moon.

If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.

Santa, And Banta, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train in Europe. The train suddenly goes thru a tunnel and. .. it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Banta are sitting there looking perplexed. The Santa is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap. The old woman is thinking: That Santa must have tried to kiss that girl and has got slapped. The Santa is thinking: `Damn it, that Banta

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania.
Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.
Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a loud slap.
When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Englishman was thinking, 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
Claudia Schiffer was thinking, 'The Englishman must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.'
And the Irishman was thinking, 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard again!'

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Through the center of Lahore there's the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which goes between India and Pak).

In one compartment of the train there are four people.

A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa Singh.

Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.

It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.

When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off.

The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"

The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."

The Pakistani soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Indian, he steals more...

If the slightest probability for an unpleasant event to happen exists, the event will take place, preferably during a demonstration.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If there isn't a law, there will be.
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 it will.
If there is light at the end of the tunnel... order more tunnel.
If things were left to chance, they would be better.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great education!
If you aim for the stars but only make it to the moon, remember there are people who have not yet made it to the moon.
If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.