Turkey Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What sound does a space turkey make?
A. hubble, hubble, hubble.
Keep your eye off the turkey dressing
It makes him blush!!!!
I heard Jeff Smith, aka The Frugal Gourmet, read this on the air. Apparently a letter from a viewer:
"I have had my turkey in the freezer for a year and a half. Will it take longer to thaw?"
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their age!
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock!
Q: How do you hold a turkey in suspense?
(get it?)

Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!
Q: Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?
A: Because they couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Q: What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
A: "Quack! Quack! Quack!"
Q: What did the Pilgrim vampire celebrate?
A: Fangsgiving!

Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnt chicken

Here are some important management lessons that many of us have had to learn the hard way...
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of more...

A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The parrot being a male sneaks out and screws the next door neighbor’s turkey and rushes back home before being caught in the act.
The next door neighbor knocks on the door and explains what the parrot has been up to. The owner of the parrot reprimands him and tells him if he doesn’t stop it he’s going to shave the parrot’s head.
That night the parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbor’s turkey again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.
The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.
The parrot is doing fine. “Groom’s side to the left and Bride’s side to the right”
Then two bald guys walk in and he says, more...

President Bush officially pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey today at the White House. Quite remarkable for someone who sentenced a record number of people to death during his stint as governor of Texas. There he goes showing his compassionate conservative side again.I guess as the terms'subpoena' and'impeachment' get cast around Congress so does'pardon' and'amnesty' in the Executive Branch.

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?"Quack! Quack! Quack!"