Twelve Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sardar Ordered A Pizza And The Clerk Asked If He Should Cut It In Six Or Twelve Pieces.
"Six, Please. I Could Never Eat Twelve Pieces."

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

CONFIDENTIAL
Dear John:
I know you are always interested in looking for opportunities for investment.
I don't know if you would be interested in this, but I thought I would mention it to you because it could be a real "sleeper" in making a lot of money with very little investment.
A group of us is considering investing in a large cat ranch near Hermosillo, Mexico. It is our intention to start rather small with about one million cats. Each cat averages about twelve kittens each year; skins can be sold for about twenty cents for the white ones and up to forty cents for the black. This will give us twelve million cat skins per year to sell at an average price of around thirty-two cents, making revenue about $3 million a year. This averages out to about $10 thousand a day excluding Sundays and holidays.
A good Mexican cat man can skin about fifty cats per day at a wage of $3.15 a day. It will take only 633 men to operate the ranch, so the net profit would be more...

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it
in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut itin six or twelve pieces.A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
Streamlining was appropriate in view of the reality that the North Pole no longer dominates the season's gift distribution business. Home shopping channels and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa's market share and he could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer, who summered at the Harvard Business School, is anticipated and should take up the slack with no discernible loss of service. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has been cited and received more...

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. Bill Maher To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. Ernest Hemingway The trouble with children is that they're not returnable. Quentin Crisp There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. Benjamin Spock I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. Nancy Mitford We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Phyllis Diller