Twinkle Jokes / Recent Jokes

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues! Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition.
Now that`s what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause! Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws! Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe! Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have "Sandy claws"! What does Father Christmas call his money?
Iced lolly? What`s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!

Questions that have Confused humankind!! a.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'llsqueeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"a.. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there.... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."a.. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to ahorrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? a.. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? a.. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? a.. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? a.. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? a.. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? a.. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? a.. Why does more...

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Next generation children will sing twinkle twinkle little cigar, I just went to royal bar, whiskey rates are up so high, so drink beer with chicken fry.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B. L. O. N.... ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her more...

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Jacked off in his girlfriends eye,
when her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one eyed slut
twinkle twinkle little star
how I wonder what you are,
shine upon the parking lot
while I eat my girlfriends twat