Typewriter Jokes

A soldier was asked to report to the headquarters sergeant for an assignment.
The sergeant said, “We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a
little test. Type this,” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That's fine,”" he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow.”“But aren't you going to check the test?” the prospective clerk asked.The sergeant grinned. “You passed the test,” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine.”

Mark and Sharon decide they don't want to discuss sex in front of their 4
and 6 year old children, so they decide to talk in code.

One day Mark is feeling a little bit turned on and says to Katie, "Tell
your mother I would really like to type a letter."

Katie runs off to find her mom. " Mommy, mommy", shouts Katie, "Daddy would
like to type a letter."

Sharon replies slightly sheepishly, "Katie, go and tell your daddy that he
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

Katie tears off to her father and says, " Daddy, daddy, mommy says you
can't type a letter today as there is a red ribbon in the typewriter."

A few days later Sharon remembers that Mark was a little bit keen on a bit
of nookie and she called Katie, "Katie, tell your daddy that he can type
that letter today."

Katie went off to look for more...

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Q: Why is Newfea's car has wind shield wipers inside?
A: Because when he dreives he mutters his lips with,"BRRERREEE....." sound.
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Q: Why does Newfea wanted to marry an African Woman?
A: Because he wanted to give her children Chocalte Milk.
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90 year old depressed lady visited her Doctor and asked, "Where is the heart located?" The Dr. replied, "Right under the breast". The next day she shot her knee!
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For her birthday the husband presented the wife a typewriter. Few days later the wife while typing mentioned to the husband, that the period doesnt seems to appear. So the husband returned the typewriter to the shop that he bought, complaining that his wife mentioned that the period doesn't more...

A soldier was asked to report to the headquarters sergeant for an assignment.
The sergeant said, “We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a
little test. Type this, ” he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.
The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. “That's fine, ”" he said. “Report for work at 8 tomorrow. ”
“But aren't you going to check the test? ” the prospective clerk asked.
The sergeant grinned. “You passed the test, ” he replied, “when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine. ”

Why did the blond take her typewriter to the hospital?
Because she missed a period and she thought she was pregnant.