Ultimately Jokes

President JR and PM Premadasa died on the same day and they were sent to APAAYA (Hell) for punishment for the sins they have commited during their ruling the country. On the way to APAAYA Premadasa said to JR "Sir, shall we take some gifts to YAMA RAJJURUWO (The king of the hell). JR replied "Through out your life you were taking bribes from poor people and now you are thinking of bribing YAMA RAJJURUWO too. I do not like your idea"
Then Premadasa said to JR "Sir, you do not know the brutality of the punishments in the hell. If we take something YAMA RAJJUROWO will give us some simple punishments." Ultimately JR agreed to take some gift to YAMARAJJURUWO.
While they were walking through the path to the hell they saw a vegetable/fruit market and Premadasa said "Sir, shall we take some DURIAN (A local fruit)" Then JR said are you mad? why should we spend too much for this? If you really need let us take 2 lemons" Premadasa ultimately more...

The Internet Newbie's Song

Sung to the Major General's song from
'The Pirates of Penzance'
by Gilbert& Sullivan

I am the very model of a Usenet individual,
I've information meaningless and ultimately trivial,
I know the basic elements of alien biology,
And all the hidden secrets of the Church of Scientology,

I've seen' The Wrath of Khan' and every Star Trek film that followed it,
I moan about my Servicecard and how the cash till swallowed it,
About the laws on handguns I am sending off a counterblast,
With many cheerful facts about the way you can MAKE MONEY FAST!

ALL: With many cheerful etc.

I'll tell you why the Japanese are taking over Panama,
And why the USA is still a better place than Canada,
In short, in matters meaningless and ultimately trivial,
I am the very model of a Usenet individual.

ALL: In short, in matters meaningless and ultimately trivial,
He more...