Umbrella Jokes / Recent Jokes

body: Three of the Backstreet Boys were going on a picnic in a summer day in a Nice Mini Van.
After few hours they reached there destination point, middle of the desert, in Arizona, USA.
The First guy got off of the Van. Opened the back, took out an umbrella and went to top of a sand dune.
Few seconds later second guy comes with a bottle of water and asked the First guy, “Why you have an umbrella with you? ”
He replied, “If it gets hot and sunny I’ll Open it up. ” Same time he asked the second guy why did he has a bottle of water with him.
The first guy said, “It will help me to prevent dehydrating myself if it gets too hot”.
They wondering why didn’t the Third Guy come yet. Few minutes later the Third guy comes with the Front Door of the Mini Van.
First and second guy stared at him for a second and asked, “Why the hell… did you bring the Door of the Van? ”
The Third replied, “Idiots! This is summer. I brought the door more...

After marrying a much younger woman, a 93-year-old man visited his doctor and announced that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a lion charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the lion, he shot and killed the animal on the spot."
"Impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Somebody else must have shot!"
"Exactly," replied the doctor.

A 90 year old geezer married a very young filly and was telling his doctor that they were expecting a baby.
"Let me tell you a story," the doctor said. "There was an absent-minded fellow who went hunting one day, but instead of picking up a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly, while he was out in the woods, a bear charged him. He pointed his umbrella at the bear, shot and killed it on the spot.
"Not possible!" the old geezer exclaimed. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"Exactly!" the doctor replied.

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how hes feeling. "Ive never been better!" he replies. "Ive got an 18-year-old bride whos pregnant and having my child! Whatdo you think about that?"The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy whos an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day hes in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.""So hes in the woods," the doctor continues, "and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest.""Thats impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said."Exactly."

A 90 year old man is having a checkup at his doctors office. The old man is chatty that day and starts to brag about his life. He boasts about his 20 year old wife who is having a baby because he got her knocked up. He claims it's an amazing feat considering his old age. The doctor listening to this very intently says, "Well, this reminds me of a story. Let me tell you about it."
"I know this man who is a hunter who goes bear hunting every single season. One day during hunting season the man is in such a rush to get out into the woods he grabs an umbrella instead of his shotgun. Anyway, he was out in the woods and he comes across a ferocious grizzly who is very mad. Horrified he raises his umbrella and points it at the bear trying to scare it away. He closes his eyes and squeezes the handle tightly. Then BOOM! the bear drops dead from a gunshot wound to the head."
The old man replies, "That's impossible! Someone else must have shot the more...

The man of the house finally took all his family's disabled umbrellas to the repair shop.
Two days later, on the way to his office, when he got up to leave the streetcar, he absentmindedly laid hold of the umbrella belonging to a woman beside him.
The women cried, "Stop, thief!" and rescued her umbrella, which covered the man with shame and confusion.
The same day, he stopped at the repair shop and received all eight of his umbrellas duly repaired.
As he entered a streetcar with the unwrapped umbrellas tucked under his arm, he was horrified to behold the lady of his morning adventure glaring at him.
Her voice came to him charged with withering scorn, "Huh! Had a good day, didn't you!"

Once there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had to go to
the desert and take one thing.
The brunette took a water bottle, the redhead took an umbrella and the
blonde took a car-door.
They were walking in the desert with their objects and 3 men came up to
them and said to the Brunette, "why have you got a water bottle?" The
Brunette replied," To drink water!"
They asked the redhead,"why do you have an umbrella?" She said,"Because if
it gets hot I can have some shade."
Then they asked the blonde," Why do you have a car-door?" She replied," If
it gets hot all I have to do is roll down the window!"