Underwear Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.
2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class.
3. Twitch a lot.
4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.
5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.
6. Become a subgenius.
7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.
8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.
9. Speak in tongues.
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
11. Walk and talk backwards.
12. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.
13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more...

Q: Whay does a blonde wear underwear?

A: To keep her ankles warm.



Adam Senan

there were 3 men a black man, a soilder, and a white man! god came down from the heaven above and told each and one of them that they could come to heaven if they could climb a latter with out looking down! the white soilder went first and god said your underwear fell down the soilder looked down so he couldn, t go to heaven and the plain white man did the same! however the black man went last and god said your underwear fell down and the black man said not uh god you can, t fool me i ain, t wearing no underwear my momma, s to poor!!!

The men of Charlie Company had been in the field for two weeks when the Sarge announces, "I've got good news and bad news. First the good news. Today we're going to change our underwear."

The troops start cheering wildly.

"Now the bad news," continues the Sarge. "Smith, you change with Jones. Andrews, you change with Murphy..."

Warning: Any resemblance between this fictional piece and a real person is
most certainly accidental.
*ring* *ring*
"Hello! Local ISP, how can I help you?"
"Well, I was sorta hoping someone could walk me through taking a leak"
"Okay... well, do you have to go now?"
"Yes, I do"
"Okay... well, are you on male or female equipment?"
"MALE-CLONE..."
"Okay, the first thing we want to do is find your fly.."
"My what?"
"Your fly... it opens your pants. It should be in the front of you. Look
down"
"I see shoes"
"No, sir... look sorta in the front of you... like just below your
stomach. You should see some metal on your pants. That's your fly.."
"The round thing?"
"Well, that's your button... let's open that, too, while we're down
there. The fly looks like a lot of little metal things more...

The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?"

Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing he wasn't wearing any.

She glanced down and said, "Nice design, does it also come in men's sizes?"

A smile is like tight underwear...it makes your cheeks go up.