University Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.

Why does the University of Tennesse football team
wear orange to all their Saturday games?
So that they can wear the same outfit to go hunting on Sunday,
and to work on Monday.

Why does the University of Tennesse footballteam wear orange to all their Saturday games? So that they can wear the same outfit to go hunting on Sunday, and to work on Monday.

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there.
"Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look."
He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

A college student walks down the road when he sees a beggar on the side of the street.
College Student (C): Hey mister! whatsup!
Beggar (B): Yea how you doin'...
C: So, how long have you've been a beggar?
B: It's about eight years now kid..
C: WOW! Thats long time.. how much do you get per day?
B: Not that bad... about 250 bucks a day...
C: That's enermous!
B: Yeah.. Enough for living my family..
C: Owch.. you got family too! Where are they now?
B: My wife's dead. I got three children, one of them in Harvard University, one in MIT, and the other one went oversea, he goes to Oxford University...
C: *pause, surprised* That's..that's really great... So, when they're gonna be graduated?
B: No kid... they're not studying! They beg in there! just like me!!

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1, 000 or 1, 500 yards, whichever comes first." Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me." And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (1996) Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Clemson recruit Ray more...

I used to know this barbar for a long time. I alwasy cut my hair very short, because those days I used to play ruggby football. One I met this guy from jaffna whoes studing with me at Colombo university. Poor chap hardly speaks Sinhalese. So he came to me and said, Machang I need a hair cut so please take me to the barbar shop. I said O. K Lets go and I took him to this barbar shop and introduced Him to the barber. At that time there were few customers and I told My Friend I will back Later.
Once I came Back He was there with No1 Hair cut. I asked what happen. He said" that stupid Guy thought I need a short haircut like yours. So I asked Why dont You asked him to Stop. He said Yes I told him but he didn't stop until he finished with my hair.
I was so upset.
I went to the barbar and asked him why he get such a hair cut.
Barbar told me, I thoght he also need No1 hair cut like yours and
he din't stop me. Then I asked my friend what happen. He Said "I more...