Urine Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man complained to his friend "My elbow hurts I better go to the doctor." "Don't do that," volunteered his friend "there's a new computer at the drug store that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."
The man figured he had nothing to lose so he took a sample of urine down to the drug store. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited the $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks
That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and more...
A man that complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts." I guess I should go see a doctor.
His friend offered DON'T DO THAT! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00
The man figured that he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drugstore. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample, and deposited the ten dollars. The computer started making some noises and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow
Soak you're arm in warm water
Avoid heavy labour
It will be better in two weeks
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if more...
A guy goes to the doctor and they had to take a urine sample. Now this is a pretty big guy so they had a lot. The urine sample sits on the table with the coffee machine. The guy takes some of the urine, accidentally, spits it out and says "This tastes like s***!"
The doctor says, "It is s***."
The guy says, "Oh, then it's not me.
A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said,' 'What?''
Again, the doctor said,' 'I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:
' 'Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10. 00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: 1. You have tennis elbow. 2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. 3. It will be better in two weeks....... That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. more...
Bob complained to his friends "My elbow really hurts. I guess I
should see a doctor."
His friend offered, "Don't do that!!! There's a computer at the
rugstore that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a
doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It
only costs $10. 00."
Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a
urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer,
he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer
started making some noises and the various lights started
flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper
on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
as and how it would more...
An old couple was sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office when the nurse came out and said, “Mr. Jones, the doctor told me that he needs you to give a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample before he examines you. ” The old man looked up at the nurse, cupped his right ear and said, “What did you say? ” The nurse came a little closer and said very loudly, “We’re going to need you to give a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample, Mr. Jones. ” The old man leaned forward and said, “What did you say, young lady? ”, then turning to his wife next to him he shouted, “what’d she say? ” His wife leaned over and shouted in his ear, “She said she wants your shorts! ”