Utah Jokes

The Utah newspaper rejected a paid wedding annoucement for Tyler Barrick and Spencer Jones. However, the same newspaper last week ran a wedding announcement for John Smith and Mary Miller and Sharon Coste and Barbara Peters.

In Utah, the following laws are on the books:
1) Birds have the rightaway on all highways.
2)It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
3) In Tremonton, it is illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance.If you are caught doing so the guy is let go and the woman is punished and her name appears in the newspaper.
4) In Trout Creek, pharmacists may not sell gunpowder to cure headaches.

REDMOND, WASHINGTON - In order to calm growing impatience among PC users concerning the repeated delays of its new Windows 95 operating system, Microsoft Corporation announced what it calls the "Cool User Program for Windows 95." To participate in this offer, a user pays US$10,000 at which time he or she will be placed in a cryogenic suspension. The user will then remain in a state of hibernation until about a week before the Windows 95 ship date.
"We expect that the users will need a few days to recuperate and acquaint themselves with the changes that will occur in society between the onset of cold sleep and the release of Windows 95," explained a Microsoft spokesman. These may include "the OJ Simpson trial ending, another momentous Congressional election, faster-than-light travel and possible leaps in human evolution."
Because Microsoft expects a large response to this offer, a vast area will be needed for the storage facility. "We have more...

What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.

(16 July 1999, Utah)

A paraglider from Riverton turned into a parasailor, and dropped into the Murdoch Canal near Lehi in Utah County on Monday evening.

Craig's parachute filled with water, and he was unable to escape as he was dragged towards a siphon on the east side of the canal, sucked under the I-15 freeway, and eventually pinned against a grate 400 feet downstream.

An employee for the Provo Water Users Association found his body. Who knew that one of the dangers of paragliding is drowning?