Valentines Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is a basic guide to Valentine's Day survival for men, which was faxed to Robert Kirby, The Salt Lake
Tribune, by the nice ladies down at "Romance Anonymous," formerly known as "Men Are Pigs But We Can't Kill Them."
STEP ONE: The minimum requirement is to let the woman know you care. The least expensive way is to look at her -
preferably somewhere on her face - and say, "I love you, [her name here]". If you forget her name, don't bother with the rest of the steps. You're dead.
STEP TWO: A Valentine card is an acceptable nonverbal token of appreciation. Best of all, it's cheap. Good Valentines are pink with lots of lace and have cute words such as "I'll love my sugar bunny forever and ever and ever and... " Bad Valentine cards say, "Good for one free quart of motor oil."
STEP THREE: Candy. For some scientific reason that makes no sense, women regard chocolate the same way men view beer. While a handful more...

A man went to the market this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him.
He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have cards for ex-spouses."
The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods."
"Really?"
"Yes sir...they're called bullets!"

A man went to the market this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him.He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have cards for ex-spouses."The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods.""Really?""Yes sir...they're called bullets!"