Vampire Jokes / Recent Jokes
A vampire joke
What’s a vampire’s favourite animal?
A giraffe!
A cannibal joke
What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?
Meals on wheels!
A vampire joke
Why is Hollywood full of vampires?
They need someone to play the bit parts!
A cannibal joke
What do cannibal say when they say grace?
”We thank you, Lord, for our daily dead!
” A vampire joke
What happened at the vampires reunion?
All the blood relations went!
A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
”Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
” A vampire joke
What did the vampire say to the doctor who cured his memory loss?
Fangs for the memories!
When hes out driving, where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter.
Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep by a bat suddenly swooping into her room through a window.
She watches as the bat transforms itself into a vampire. She grips the pillow tightly, but is too afraid to speak.
The vampire slowly approaches, but as it almost reaches her, the woman suddenly remembers the cross on her night-stand.
She grabs it tightly, holding it out towards the vampire and, in a trembling voice, cries,
"You can't come closer! I have a cross."
The vampire looks the woman in the eye and responds, "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"
Whats it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight? Necking.
A vampire joke
What do romantic vampires do?
Neck!
A skeleton joke
What’s a skeleton’s favorite vegetable?
Marrow!
A skeleton joke
What did the old skeleton complain of?
Aching bones!
A vampire joke
What did Dracula say to his new apprentice?
We could do with some new blood around here!
A skeleton joke
What is a skeleton?
Somebody on a diet who forgot to say “when”!
A vampire joke
How does a vampire clean his house?
With a victim cleaner!
A vampire joke
What does a vampire say when you tell him a ghoul joke?
Ghoul blimey!
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire go to hospital?
He wanted his ghoulstones removed!
A ghost joke
Where do ghosts live?
In a terrortory!
A ghost joke
What is a ghost proof cycle?
One with no spooks in it!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost who stays out all night?
A fresh air freak!
A skeleton joke
What happened to the skeleton who was swallowed by a big fish?
He had a whale of a time!
A ghost joke
What do young ghouls write their homework in?
Exorcise books!
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over!