Vampire Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath.
A ghost joke
What was written on the hypochondriac’s tombstone?
“I told you I was ill”!
A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
I don’t know but it would slow him down!
A witch joke
How did the witch almost lose her baby?
She didn’t take it far enough into the woods!
A cannibal joke
What did the cannibal mum say to her son who was chasing a missionary?
”Stop playing with your food”!
A witch joke
What do witches race on?
Vroomsticks!
A Halloween joke
How do you get the most apples when bobbing at Halloween Wear a snorkel!
A witch joke
What’s a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north!
A witch joke
Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings!
A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
Transparents!
A vampire joke
Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
The ghoulscorer!
A witch joke
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it!
A Halloween joke
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken!
A witch joke
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you’ll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!
What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A vampire will only suck blood at night.
I'm way too old for these Twilight movies.A girl is torn between a vampire and a werewolf.Hell,I saw that episode on The Munsters.
A ghost joke
This woman wanted to marry a ghost. I don’t know what possessed her!
A witch joke
Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She’s forecasting sunny spells!
A cannibal joke
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
A witch joke
How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches!
A vampire joke
What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul!
A witch joke
What happens if you see twin witches?
You won’t be able to see which witch is witch!
A Halloween joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for “tick or tweet”!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost-bite!