Vicar Jokes

Vicar: Whats that you're doing, Tommy? Tommy: Sticking bangers up frogs arses, Vicar. Vicar: Rectum, Tommy. Tommy: Blows' em to fucking pieces, Vicar!

In a small town, an frightened man ran inside the local pub and shouted, "Does anyone here own a big black dog with a white collar?"
But no one answered and he said, "Oh my God, I must have run over the Vicar!"

TWO men in their 80s who had played golf every day of their long lives wondered if there was a golf course in paradise. After attending the morning service in church they approached the Vicar and sought his opinion.' I'll ask Saint Peter and let you know next Sunday,' replied the holy man.

The following Sunday the two men accosted the Vicar. T have good news and bad news for you,' said the holy man.

'The good news is that there is an excellent golf course in heaven.'

'And what is the bad news?'asked the two.

'The bad news is that you have to tee off the course next Saturday.'

How does the vicar explore the Internet? With the church mouse.

The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walkinground his new parish, after leaving his wife in bedwith the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack ofcigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said."Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, thewife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!"