Vietnamese Jokes

A Pinoy went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to the famous Hollywood director, Steven Spielberg who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.

After a couple of beers, the Pinoy sensed that Spielberg was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash the Pinoy crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the director.

Picking himself up, he yelled, "Wat da hell is dat por?"

Spielberg ranted: "That's for the bombing of Pearl Harbor, you and My dad perished in that bombing!"

"Tang Na! I am not Jafanese, you stufid Nincomfoof! I am Filipino!" exclaimed the Pinoy.

The inebriated director replied, "Yeah yeah yeah. ... Japanese, Burmese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Filipino. .. you are all the same."

Regaining his composure, the Pinoy dusted off his white pants, straightened the collar of his loud bird-of-paradise printed shirt, took his seat and ordered a more...

10) Viet Nam was a jungle war; Desert Storm is a desert war. (as noted by V. P. Quayle)

9) The U. S. is not the world's most profligate waster of rice.

8) We are not killing Vietnamese women and children in Desert Storm.

7) The White House wasn't smart enough to come up with a catchy name for the Viet Nam war.

7') Viet Nam was a conflict--Desert Storm is an operation.

6) Some Americans actually believed that we were defending a democratic government in Viet Nam.

5) The time difference from the U. S. to the middle east is better suited to prime time live coverage of the festivities.

4) Nobody ever compared Ho Chi Minh to Adolf Hitler.

3) We hadn't been supplying weapons and intelligence to the North Vietnamese until weeks before the war began.

2) The networks didn't have slick computer graphics with dramatic theme music for the Viet Nam war. and the number one reason why Operation Desert more...

A Vietnamese couple who has been married for twenty years went to the wedding reception of a close comrade's daughter. During the ring exchange ceremony, the husband started to cry profusely.

The wife, surprised by her husband's emotional outburst, said, " I didn't realize that you have so much feeling to share with your comrade's happiness."

The husband replied, "No, you are wrong! That was not why I cried."

He continued, "Twenty years ago, your father caught us doing it, and threatened that if I don't marry you, your VC father will put me behind bars for twenty years. Weeping even louder, the husband said, "If I had just gone to jail, I would've been a free man by now. I made a big mistake. "

During the Vietnam War, a hillbilly soldier shot about a dozen of the enemy during his first battle.
The Sergeant said, "How'd you learn to shoot like that? Have you ever been in combat before?"
"Well suh," drawled the boy, "To be honest, this is my first public war."

A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions.

The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone.

The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle.

The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"