Viola Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola? If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

What is the definition of a cluster chord? A viola section playing on the C string.

If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis? The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.

Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it? You could fit in at least one more.

How many violists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They're not small enough to fit.

Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a violin case? They think he's carrying a machine gun and might be about to use it. Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a viola case? They think he's carrying a viola and might be about to use it.

What's the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? half a measure ora semi-tone