Violin Jokes / Recent Jokes
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't get up that high!
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
Q: Why is a double bass better than a violin?
A: The double bass burns longer.
Jack Benny was for about 50 years one of the USA's favorite comedians. One of his gimmicks was to play the violin badly (the audience would boo and laugh).
Jack Benny tells of the time he carried his violin case to the White House to perform for President Eisenhower. A guard stopped him and asked, "What's in that case?"
To be funny, Benny replied, "A machine-gun."
"Thank goodness," deadpanned the guard, "I was afraid it was your violin!"
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.
The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.
The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For pity's sake, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
Sit in the back and don't play.
How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
The bow is moving.