Virginia Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Pete says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."
The first nun says, "I want to be Bo Derek," and - POOF - she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna," and - POOF - she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Virginia Pepalini."
St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Virginia Pepalini," replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says, "No, Sister, this says the Virginia Pipeline was laid by 500 men in 7 days!"

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Pete says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."
The first nun says, "I want to be Bo Derek," and POOF she's gone.
The second says, "I want to be Madonna," and POOF she's gone.
The third says, "I want to be Virginia Pepalini."
St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Virginia Pepalini." replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to her and says, "No Sister, this says the Virginia Pipeline was laid by 500 men in 7 days!"

Three nuns die and go to heaven. They are met at the pearly gates by St. Peter, who tells them they led such good lives they will be permitted to return to earth as anyone they want.The first nun thinks it over and says "I'd like to return as Sophia Loren."St. Peter says "Fine, you can return as Sophia Loren."The second nun thinks and says "I'd like to be Gina Lollobrigida."St. Peter says "No problem, you can return as Gina Lollobrigida."The third nun says "I think I'd like to be Virginia Pipeline."St. Peter says, "Hmmm, I don't think I know of anyone named Virginia Pipeline?"At which point the third nun shows him the headline from the morning paper: "Virginia Pipeline Laid by 25 Men"

"I'd like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator.
"There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"
The young man hesitated a moment,
"Well, uh, most people call me Snake."

Country legend and sultan of sausage Jimmy Dean and his wife, Donna, narrowly escaped a fire Monday that swept through their Virginia home. The couple were awoken by a neighbor who saw smoke billowing from the couples house. The neighbor stated he knew the smoke was from the Deans home because it smelled like regular, maple, and hot & spicy.

ALABAMA:
Literacy Ain't Everything

ARKANSAS:
Exporters of Everything But Honesty

CALIFORNIA:
Se Habla Ingles

FLORIDA:
The Gunshine State

GEORGIA:
The Culture State: Jews and Negroes Allowed Since 1993

INDIANA:
Home of Dan Quayle

KANSAS:
Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole

KENTUCKY:
Tobacco is a Vegetable

LOUISIANA:
I Drink, Therefore I Am

MARYLAND:
We're Better Than Virginia, Damn It!

MINNESOTA:
Land of 10,000 Lakes and a Lot of Really WHITE People

MISSOURI:
We're kinda to the west of Indiana and east of Kansas... and oh yeah we're right near Iowa!

MONTANA:
Only a few of us are nutbar freaks who build bombs and put them in the mail.

NEW JERSEY:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney

NEW YORK:
People say we're ambivalent and more...

Q. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!