Virginia Jokes / Recent Jokes
In response to a "feud" that had been started by neighbors, a man in Virginia broke into his neighbors barn, left pornographic photos on the ground and spray painted his goats.
When captured the man and his driver/accomplice were both charged.
The driver was sentenced to probation for his part in the "caper." The spray painter was charged with a fine and ordered to "find a fucking hobby."
A man was driving through West Virginia looking for a place to move to.He saw 2 men sitting on a porch and said, "I'm moving here from thecity, what do you guys do around here?"The men answered, "Go hunt'n, kill things, 'n screw".He then asked, "What do you hunt and kill?"The men replied, "Sumt'n ta screw."
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting please to come out and give himself up.
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three more...
Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia? Well God found plenty of guys who liked to deal with sheep, but he could'nt find three wise men or a virgin. Sent by Johnny
*The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
* The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not more...
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia? Everyone has the same DNA.