Volkswagon Jokes

There are four elephants in a Volkswagon. How do you know when one went into your refrigerator?
Answer: There is a set of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when there were two elephants in the fridge?
Answer: There are two sets of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when there were three elephants in your fridge?
Answer: you have three sets of footprints in the butter!
How do you know when four elephants were in your fridge?
Answer: You have an empty Volkswagon!

Q: How do you get 500 midgets into a Volkswagon?
A: You have to manufacture a Volkswagon large enough to accomidate 500 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 500 midgets into a Volkswagon is solved.
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Selecting a Programming Language Made Easy
Daniel Solomon & David Rosenblueth
Department of Computer Science, University of Waterloo
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada N2L 3G1
With such a large selection of programming languages it can be
difficult to choose one for a particular project. Reading the manuals to
evaluate the languages is a time consuming process. On the other hand,
most people already have a fairly good idea of how various automobiles
compare. So in order to assist those trying to choose a language, we
have prepared a chart that matches programming languages with comparable
automobiles.
Assembler
A Formula I race car. Very fast, but difficult to drive and
expensive to maintain.
FORTRAN II
A Model T Ford. Once it was king of the road.
FORTRAN IV
A Model A Ford.
FORTRAN 77
A six-cylinder Ford Fairlane with standard transmission and
no seat belts.
COBOL
A delivery van. It's bulky and ugly, but more...

Here's one I heard on the radio recently.
A father comes home and asks where his son is. His wife replies that he's
downstairs playing with his new chemistry set. The father is curious so he
wanders down stairs to see what his son is doing. As he's walking down the
steps he hears a banging sound. When he gets to the bottom he sees his son
pounding a nail into the wall. He says to his son, "What are you doing? I
thought you were playing with your chemistry set. Why are you hammering a
nail into the wall?" His son replied, "This isn't a nail, dad, it's a worm. I
put these chemicals on it and it became hard as a rock."
His dad thought about it for a minute and said, "I'll tell you what
son, give me those chemicals and I'll give you a new Volkswagon." His son
quite naturally said, ''Sure why not.''
The next day his son went into the garage
to see his new car. Parked in the garage was a brand new Mercedes. more...

Just a word of warning to those of you shopping for a new car. I am not sure if you have seen the commercials for the Volkswagon Jetta but they appear to get in a lot of accidents. You know the commercial, two or three people in the middle of a normal conversation and then WHAM! Out come the airbags and their bodies flop around like crash dummys. So go buy a Hummer or big truck to crush the other Jetta's in town.