Wanting Jokes / Recent Jokes

A proprietor very keen on obtaining the maximum from the customer, had drilled his
sales staff not to turn away any customer, but to try to entice them with a similar option -
like he said - if they require rose brand sugar and we don't have the stocks offer them
elephant brand sugar etc etc.
Well a nervous young salesman eager to show off how effective a job he could do, met his first customer that day - an old lady who hobbled in. He greeted her with a cherry good morning and she stated that she required toilet paper.( A luxury which was not freely available or well known during this period.)
The salesman said sadly "Mam I am sorry I cannot give you toilet paper as we have run
out of stocks, but could I offer you instead a good quality tissue paper?"
The old lady thinking the man was trying to be fresh gave him a nasty look and
said No No thank you.
The salesman not wanting to be beaten then offered her some carbon paper - in more...

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. more...

Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?"The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He more...

This young woman brought her child into Children's Hospital
for a routine check-up. On the records, the nurse saw that
the child's first name was Urine (pronounced Urin-ie). Not
wanting to be rude, but wanting to know why this woman would
name her child this, the nurse asked her how Urine got her name.
The woman explained, "Well, my baby was born premature and had
to stay in the special nursery. She was real sick and they
didn't know if she would make it. I couldn't decide what to
name her, but the nurses said they would pray for her. One
day I came in and there was this paper on her incubator that
said 'Please save Urine', so I knew that they had named my baby."

Prison life versus a full-time jobIn prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one. In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work. In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself. In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games. In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained. In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share. In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends. In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required. At work you get to pay all the more...

A man and his wife were all ready to go out for the evening. They had gotten all dolled up, put the cat out and were just waiting for the taxi to arrive.
The taxi arrived, and as they walked out of their house, the cat ran back inside.
Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver, "He won't be long. He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab and said, "Sorry I took so long. The stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

Q: What`s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Q. Why has Kevin keegan banned his players from owning dogs?
A. Because they can`t hang onto a lead.
The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then, when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.
Just before his son`s sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you". His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane".
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways. Just before his son`s seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side.
"Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you." His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat".
Not wanting to do anything by halves, his more...