Ward Jokes / Recent Jokes
10. Place to treat MSFT' 'Post Stock Split'' depression (for those who bought too late).
9. Great place to store copies of Microsoft Bob.
8. Marketing though it was a real cool place to develop MS Anti-Virus.
7. Testing facility for MS HMO Version 1.0
6. Cheaper than Bill's house - and has 4 more beds.
5. First stage of master plan to implant Intel/Windows control chips in MS Employees.
4. Efficient way to distribute Prozac to Windows 98 Developers.
3. Psychiatric ward AKA' 'store house'' for those people that insist on using OS/2 Warp, Mac and' 'other'' operating systems.
2. Melinda said she needed a nursery.
And the number one reason...
Need recovery ward for those who installed IE 4.0
A GOOD ONE... enjoy. There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil... Just when the clock struck 11... Scroll down for what happened... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
This is a true story that happened in a South African hospital.
There was this case in the hospital where a patient always died in the same bed and on a Friday morning regardless of his medical condition. This puzzles the doctors and some even think it has something to do with the supernatural.
One day, all the doctors decide to go down to the ward where it always happens on the Friday mornings. They want to take a look at what's going on. Friday morning comes and everyone's at the hospital ward waiting for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. Right at the expected time, the cleaner comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum!
There was this case in the hospital`s Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a. m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a. m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner! !
Two doctors were discussing a case in a mental ward. The first doc asked what had triggered such a profound depressive psychosis in the patient. The second one answered, "He's a lawyer. One day at home, he started to think about how much money he'd screwed his partners and clients out of over the last few years. He laughed so hard he defecated in his pants. When he smelled the foul odour he had created, he checked for the source. Finding his trousers full of the stuff, he thought he was leaking. This caused him to go into shock and faint. When he woke up, he found he had fallen on his arm, breaking it." The first doc asked, "He went mad because he broke an arm?" The second medic answered, "No, he went mad because he couldn't figure out how to sue himself!"
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a. m, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a. m., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner! !
Sign on gate at the pig farm: "No Porking in Driveway."
Sign in the optical lab: "Please do not look into laser with remaining eye."
A couple of more collectives: a mockery of acquittals. An exasperation of Jewish Mothers.
Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts--for support, not for illumination.
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid; there are so many places they can hide."
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.
Says one psychiatrist to his colleague: "You are fine; how am I?"
What do you call a chicken crossing the road?. .. Poultry in motion.
Aibohphobia (def'n): An irrational fear of more...