Watermelons Jokes / Recent Jokes
The was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was doing pretty well but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. So he made up the sign and posted it in the field. The next day the kids show up and they see this sign. It says, "Warning, one of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." So the kids run off, make up their own sign and post it next to the sign that the farmer made. The farmer shows up the next week and when he looks over the field he notices that no watermelons are missing but he notices a new sign next to his. He drives up to the sign which reads, "Now there are two."
The Famers Daughter "The was a man named Jimmy who was on a job interview in another state that he didn't know very well. While he was driving he became very tired. Noticing there were more...
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads "WARNING; ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!
The farmer returns a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads, "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
A middle-aged man had an obsession with women's breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.
"I am going to do word association," explained the doctor. "I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind."
"Oranges," said the doctor.
"Breasts," replied the patient.
"Apples."
"Breasts."
"Watermelons."
"Breasts."
"Wipers."
"Breasts," said the patient with the same reply.
"Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile's wipers? Where is the connection?" asked the doctor.
"Easy. .. one on the left and one on the right!"
There is mexican, a black, and a american there on a road trip. There driving they all get hungry so they stop at a barn. They start to steall fruit but the farmer hears them so he ges out his gun and tells them to stop. Terrofied they stop and drop the fruit."now see hear if you want to survive get all your favorite fruit,"the farmer told him.
First the american comes with apples"now you see here you have to shove 7 up you rass."1,2,3 they fell and so he got shot.
second was the mexican he brought beans"now see here boy stick 7 in your ass."1,2,3 he starts to laugh so they fall so he asked, whats the mater boy this is a matter between life or death?" the mexican replies"the black man is picking watermelons."
2 Polish brothers arrive in America after a life time of poverty. With the little money they saved up they decided to open a business selling watermellons.
With a Total of 1000.00 they decided to buy a used truck valued at 900.00. With the remaining hundred they buy 100 watermelons.
Next day they decide to drive to their local city. They park the truck in front of a busy building and post a sign "
Fresh Watermelons $1.00 each"
. They sell out in one hour.
When they arrived home one of the brother's counts the money."
Hey wait a minute we made no profit we have what we started with"
The other brother says"
I know what we did wrong"
"
What we do wrong"
says the brother"
"
We needed to buy a bigger truck"
A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill.
After some thought, he made a sign that said, "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"