Weenie Jokes / Recent Jokes

This one I heard from my friend:
There was a man who stopped by a hotel and asked to use the bathroom.
The manager said, "Sure but our bathroom is haunted by a ghost."
The man said, "I'm not afraid of no ghost."
So the man goes into the bathroom and he hears, "I'm the ghost of Willy Winky. I'll lick your balls and eat your weenie."
The man runs out screaming, and the hotel manager shakes his head and yells, "I told you so!"
Another man comes by and says, "Oh crap, I really need to use your bathroom!"
The manager says, "Sure but there's a ghost haunting the bathroom."
The man replies, "I don't believe in ghosts!"
The man goes in the bathroom and hears, "I'm the ghost of Willy Winky. I'll lick your balls and eat your weenie."
The man then runs out screaming.
Then Santa Claus comes in and says, "I really need to use your bathroom."
The manager says, more...

One day a husband and a wife are gardening when the husband says to the wife that her butt is as big as the grill. She objects, and so they decide to measure it. Sure enought it is as big as the grill and the wife is mad. When they are both in bed the husband is very sorry and asks if the wife will make love to him. The wife replied,"Do you really think I am gonna fire up this big as grill for one little weenie?"

there once was a genie with a 10 foot weenie
he went to the girl nextdoor
she thought it was a snake
and hit it with a rake
now its only 3foot 4

One morning two priests head to the showers. It isn't until they were already in the shower, that they realized they did not bring any soap. Father Bob decides he'll run back for the soap.
Rather than get dressed, he peeks out into the hallway, and since no one is around, he decides to make a run for it. He gets the two bars of soap and checks the hall before heading back to the showers. All was clear, so he makes a break for it. Just as he turns the corner to the showers, he spots three nuns walking towards him. With nowhere to go, and hoping that the nuns will think he is a statue, he stands perfectly still, holding the two bars of soap.
The nuns approach and the first nun says, "Oh my, look at that! Isn't that the most lifelike statue you've ever seen?"
She steps up for a closer look, reaches out and gives a couple of tugs on the priest's weenie. Startled, he drops the first bar of soap.
"Oh Heavens," she exclaims, "I got a bar of more...

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1, 000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72, 000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96, 000.
The third one was a non officer grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “from the tip of my weenie to my testicles. ”
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old more...