Whisky Jokes / Recent Jokes

On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him.

He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!"

The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee.

When this omission is pointed out to her, the parrot drains its glass and bawls "And get me another whisky you witch!"

Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another whisky but still no coffee.

Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it now or I'll kick your ass!"

Suddenly, both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards.

Plunging downwards the parrot turns to him and says...
"For someone who can't fly, you sure are a ballsy bastard!"

A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat". They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks.
Next it was the ostrichs round. He walked up to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat". He took the drinks back to the table and they drank them.
When it was the Cat's turn to buy, he told them to "Fuck off!"
So the man went back to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich and whisky for the cat".
The Barman was curious about this and said "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why is this?".
The man replied, "I helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish".
"What did you wish for?" said the Barman.
"I wished for a long legged bird with a more...

On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped into the seat next to him.

The man asks the stewardess for a cup of coffee and the parrot squawks, "And why don't you get me a whiskey, wench."

The stewardess, flustered by the parrot's outburst, brings back a whiskey for the parrot but inadvertently forgets the man's cup of coffee. As the man nicely points out the omission of his coffee to the stewardess, the parrot downs his drink and shouts, "And get me another whisky, you ugly thing."

Visibly shaken, the stewardess comes back with the parrot's whisky but still no coffee for the man. Unaccustomed to such slackness, the man decides that he is going to try the parrots approach, "I've asked you twice for a cup of coffee wench, I expect you to get it for me right now so I don't have to see that disgustingly ugly face of yours any more!"

Next thing they know, both the man and the parrot are more...