Whisper Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.
' Johnny, how many times have I told you,' said his mother,' it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.'
' OK, said Johnny,' why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch? '

Most Romantic/Passionate/Sweet Things
To Do For Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend
(101 steps to having a good relationship)
Watch the sunset together.
Take showers together.
Back rubs/massages.
Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or w/ blacklight.
French Kiss.
Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.
Whisper to each other.
Cook for each other.
Skinny dip.
Make out in the rain.
Dress each other.
Undress each other.
Kiss every part of their body.
Hold hands.
Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other: not sex)
One word: Foreplay
Sit and talk in just underwear.
Buy gifts for each other.
Roses.
Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
Wear his clothes.
Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.
Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.
Kiss at every chance you get.
Don't wear underwear more...

Speak in a strange foreign accent. when someone asks where you are from, name a country only you can pronounce.
Use a different accent every time you talk to someone new.
When getting food, pile everything onto your plate in heaping servings - make sure to use your hands!
Ask the host, "Who threw this cheesy party, anyway?"
Turn cartwheels across the floor. If you can turn a back flip, all the better!
Bring a novel and curl up in a corner with it.
Cough all over guests, then exclaim, "Doctor says a few more years and I'll be cured..."
Hang your head and whisper one-word answers to questions.
Play a lullaby on a kazoo during a speech (singing a lullaby works okay, too).
If there is music, mix up your dancing: break dance to classical, symphony conductor hand waves to techno music.
If you find your former dancing partner dancing with someone else, burst into tears, wailing, "I thought you loved me!" and run from the more...

Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.' Johnny, how many times have I told you,' said his mother,' it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.'' OK, said Johnny,' why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch? '

> What a boyfriend should do.. . . COUGH COUGH (just a little note from da gurlz) COUGH COUGH
>*~*~*~*~*
>Put your arms around her waist
>and whisper in her ears.
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~* *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>Kiss her every chance you get.
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>Hold her close when she's cold.
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>When you are alone hold
>her close and kiss her.
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>Kiss her on the tip of her nose
>(it will give her the hint that
>you want to kiss her.)
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*
>While in the movie, put your
>arm more...

A burglar is rummaging through a drawer in a person's home one night when he hears someone whisper "Jesus is watching you". Startled, the burglar turns only to see no-one. "Who's there?" he demands. After a moment of waiting, he decides that it was only his imagination. He resumes his looting, and after a moment, he again hears someone whisper "Jesus is watching you". Now, very alarmed the burglar searches out the origin of the noise. While searching, he again hears someone whisper, "Jesus is watching you". This time he can tell where it came from. He feels his way across the room, and arrives at an object covered by a blanket. Someone whispers "Jesus is watching you". He rips the cover off to reveal a birdcage with a parrot inside. The parrot whispers "Jesus is watching you". Irritated, the man yells "shut-up Polly!" The bird says in return, "My name's not Polly, it's Raymond". Chuckling mildly the man more...

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please? Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother? Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him? Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to??? Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here...but they are busy too....
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!! Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.